My Jars of Clay

I remember a few years ago coming across a post on Instagram asking the question to the followers, what made us a good mom.

The question stopped my scrolling and made my heart drop.

All I could think about was the ways I was not a good mom and how I could never measure up to the title. I had nothing to type in.

Tears filled my eyes, and I broke down from the weight of guilt I had been carrying year after year.

Halfheartedly, I found myself looking through the comments from other moms ready to compare and add to my list of reasons why I was not a good mom.

To my surprise, instead of reading words of all the ways these women rocked as moms, I came across response after response of moms sharing how they couldn’t think of any good things to share or how it took them awhile to come up with something.

I felt immediate relief knowing I was not alone

As soon as the breath in me kicked back in, I felt brokenhearted over how much we cut ourselves short as moms.

I realized we get lost in some unattainable version of how we think motherhood should go or a false list of ideals that make us “good” moms.  Or how our productivity equals how good we are at what we do.

We measure ourselves up against our kid’s behavior, the state of our home, how successful our kids are at school, the number of times we didn’t blow up in anger that day, and how we are feeling on the inside.

When you are feeling like you will never be a “good” mom, remember these three truths:

1. Truth: You are not called to perfection. The world will tell you that you need to be amazing at motherhood and everything else under the sun. Work harder they tell you. You can have it all and be it all. It is a lie. Perfection is unattainable for everyone except Jesus.
2. Truth: You are good at what you do but you don’t have to be good at everything. Maybe you are good at playing Legos. Maybe you make the best French toast in the world or tell the best jokes. Maybe you are good at creating a clean, organized home for your family. Maybe you throw the best dance parties in the kitchen. Maybe you give the best hugs. Maybe you pray every day for your kids. If we open our eyes to all the things we are good at, we can’t stop focusing on everything we are not. Create a list and hang it somewhere to remind yourself of all the positive points you have going on! If you are struggling to step back and find the good, ask your husband, your mom, or a friend!
3. Truth: We are all different moms with different families. We can’t get lost in the comparison trap of what your friend is good at as a mom or what you see floating around social media. We don’t have the same kids, hang ups, stress factors, husbands, villages, mental health, physical health etc. Plus-9 times out of 10- they are all feeling the weight of inadequacy just like you. What they are good at, doesn’t take away from what you are good at. What they are good at, doesn’t mean you should be good at it too. Choose to cheer each other on and be encouraging of others and yourself!

Sweet friends, the biggest thing to remember is, God made you a mom.  Everything he makes is good. So you’re a good mom. The end!

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.”

Genesis 1:31